I already stopped loving you.
Or so I said.
Haven't we agreed on this long before? I can clearly remember it all:
No more conversations, especially at night.
No more staring in each other's eyes.
No more exclusive walks together.
No more holding hands.
No more hangouts.
No more sleepovers.
No more hugs.
No more kisses - especially French.
No more caressing.
No more foreplay.
And of course, yes, no more sex, and everything else related to that.
No more 'us'.
But then how can you explain what happened just that night?
How can you explain why you grabbed me by the hand from my sitting at the waiting shed?
How can you explain why you hugged me so tight that I felt like I don't want to ever let you go while I know inside me that I'm supposed to be on a date, meeting the girl that could be my everlasting, my wife, the one I'll be happy to be with for the rest of my life?
How can you explain why your hands travelled up my face, pulled it near yours, gazed at me for a while, and kissed me?
But then, how can I explain why I did not untangle my fingers from your clasp?
How can I explain why I hugged you back, oh so tight, that, yes, I don't want to ever let you go even though I know so consciously that I may be losing the best girl I could ever have in my life?
How can I explain why my hands travelled up and down your body and remained at your breasts, and how can I explain why I so wanted not to move my lips back but instead kiss you for what is like forever?
How can I explain why I seemed to fall in love with you again?
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