I cannot find a way to describe it.

I just don't understand how I feel. I don't know why.

It's just so.

I can't explain myself. Or why should I? I don't really know.

The Earth Hour just passed by and I'm not still satisfied with myself or with what's going on with myself.

I don't know. Maybe all I need is time, or other. I don't know. I'm going nowhere.

Happy dreams are made of chocolate.

I have a very happy - and of course it's kind of weird, but hell i love it - and, as I said, I love it.

I know it's kind of silly blogging about this.

Okay. Here it goes.

In my dream it was weird. My roommate and I were in perfect harmony. Yes, that was what has been in my dream. It was so nice dreaming about it, having something I long wanted to happen. We were having conversations, going to places, Only it was saddening to have it been limited to a very nice morning dream. I know it's silly, but I just can't believe it happening in my dream. I mean, it's too good to be there. It's too good to dream of it. No.

And yes, reality confirmed that it would not happen. I woke up, and there goes another day of silence. I don't know what brings it on but it's just that we barely talk with each other. I personally do not have anything against him, and I suppose that the same way is with him. (I could even remember that I gave him some donuts sometime last week and it was just okay.) But I just feel sad that we go the other way. What a bad dream reality  is.

In the real world, dreams only come true when fate wants it to come true. And I just have to stand the pain.

This afternoon, I was supposed to come with a friend for her interview in a tutorial agency. We went to Gateway Mall and met the Korean guy in his pink polo shirt at Starbucks Coffee Araneta Coliseum. Wow. I was struck. It was my first time actually talking to a Korean - well, to a foreigner. So instead of just my friend, I too was interviewed for the tutorial job. He kept noting that I was 'interesting' and talks in a 'fashionable' manner - whatever that fashionable manner means. I can't wait to have a student to teach. It must be interesting, being in the job. But then, all I have to do is to wait for the big call. ^^

Irritant.

I feel bad.

And I don't know why.

I just feel so fat today. Hahaha.

And I just so hate it, along with the heat of the sun and the boring season.

But I was then so glad that it rained this afternoon.

But I was at the mall then. And I don't know why.

I just so am not into myself. Grr.

Colds in the stabbing heat.

It's only here in the University that I see someone so health conscious that he would even discriminate my having the common cold. Wow. I thought that back in high school, it's perfectly normal, or safe. But where else could you see someone quarantining you just for the fact of me having common cold? Whoa. Whatever that is.

Okay. So I'm not supposed to laze around here yping whatever posts. I'm supposed to continue studying for our Fourth Long Examination in Math 100 tomorrow morning, and simultaneously doing my portfolio (compilation of paper works) for Malikhaing Pagsulat 10 since it'll be due tomorrow too, in almost at the same time as of the Math 100 exam. Now how should I ever do that simultaneously?

I'm currently having fun with integrals. (How am I even supposed to have fun with that?)

I can do this. I'm a superhero - with common colds.

Red-haired teddy bear.

Finally, I've got a picture of the Wacky Day when my hair was sprayed red (or in this case, somewhat red violet).

[Photograph courtesy of Hazel Ross Palma Villarba, my Political Science blockmate and my partner in the photograph.]

It was one of the days that I know I looked at my best, but too bad that my digital camera got broken that very day. How good was that, huh? My teddy bear coin bank collected some coins and bills worth 21 or 22 pesos, plus 75 centavos. Wow. At least I earned a lot more than the beggar Archie Jerome Maramag (he portrayed a very convincing beggar that day - he had a trouble entering the Office of the University Registrar), he only got 2 pesos. Hahaha!

I bet I'll have another time in the year that I would be bringing my teddy bear coin bank.

Ahh. I just so love this picture. Me beside the girl I first met and laughed with in the university. The first girl.

Rip me off gently.

I feel so lax. Yes, I am aware that I need to cram on my portfolio and study a lot and cram for more papers. But I just feel so lax. And how come I'm attempting to surf the web when the connection's just so slow? (I'm currently using my Smart Bro, but the connection is terribly depressing. Why does this always happen when the WLAN server in the dormitory is down?)

What a week it has been. It has been so windy and complex and all that.

And I feel ripped off.

I wish I was able to write more sonnets.

Sunday.

It was no sleep day. I was supposed to finish all my papers, but it went to procrastination. I was logged on to the internet and watched some movies after.

Monday.

I slept by 8 in the morning and by 11 when I woke up, I was having a high fever. 39 degrees. Dash went with me to the infirmary to have my fever drop down to normal. I became well, eventually.

Tuesday.

Last lecture day for Biology and Sociology. My fever left me a cold.

Wednesday.

Last lecture day for Science, Technology, and Society, and Malikhaing Pagsulat. I'm pissed off by the heat of the sun. Someone became super mad at me by afternoon.

Thursday.

Examinations on Biology and Natural Science, Biology Part. 

Burning asleep.

I just can't figure out why I am experiencing a very high fever right now. Fudge. I am so burning.

Yesternight I ventured on being awake throughout. It was successful though: I did not feel any sign of drowsiness, I was able to wait for the sun rise, and I was finally able to catch breakfast. I slept by 8 in the morning and at the moment I woke up by noon, I was freaking hot. It got a bit down and when I slept by four and woke by six, i felt much hotter. It's so odd. I don't want this. I've got a lot of paper works to do. Fudge.

Storm Bound.

I just don't feel like doing anything tonight. This evening I just spent my time with my fellow Sigaw-mates (the dormitory newspaper) and surfed the net after. I do not know if its something you can call relaxation but I know deep in me that its what we can certainly call procrastination. I still have a postmodern story for Malikhaing Pagsulat 10 due by Wednesday. Journal Entries for Sociology 10 that I'm planning to submit on Tuesday. I really understand the possible consequences of my lazing around, but hell, whatever. I know I'll be doing the same thing I regretted before. Then fine. Let it be it. So I guess I'll join my friends in declaring this week as HELL WEEK. Whoa. I must survive this storm.

Give me a title, please.

I don't know what to actually post in this entry. But I just feel like typing so.

It's suppose to be an abstinence Friday, but I wasn't able to follow the must-dos. Mom called me up this morning to ensure that I would eat breakfast. Of course, I did not. I know this day's an all-fish meal at the canteen, and I just don't feel eating that. Then I slept again and woke up by eleven. Eleven in the morning, my class (first class) begins at eleven-thirty! So then I wasn't able to eat anymore. Arf.

And now I don't feel like typing so I'll leave you here. ^^

Farewell Fantasies.

Sometime soon, most of us - centennial residents of the legendary Kalayaan Residence Hall (highly known for the founding place of the Eraserheads) - will be leaving our rooms, corridors, the dorm itself. We might as well say goodbye to our roommates, corridormates, dormmates, friends, and, yes,even resident assistants. A few days left and we're no longer freshmen. Yes, we've been centennial freshmen but as the next academic year unveils to us UP students, we're simply that and we'll continue again being students with a name of our own, with a title we can call ourselves

No sooner we'll be glancing at the walls of our room, look at the view from our windows, sit on the chair, lie on the bed, step on the red-tiled floor, all for the very last time. No sooner we'll be packing our things, our clothes, our stuff. No sooner we'll be saying goodbye to our very first dormitory in the university, the home we've been in our first year of college life.

Will we find it hard? Easy? How does it feel to leave another year? I do not know yet. But then, it's still a wonder.

Two hours of stolen sweet slumber.

I feel so guilty for not sleeping last night. I spent the whole night procrastinating. I had a lot of papers to make. But last night was dedicated for quality time with Mortimer (my laptop) and for making our STS report. I accidentally slept at around 4.30 and woke up by 6 in the morning. I wasn't actually planning to sleep though, so it was merely an accident. I managed to finish our written report by the morning, just to find out that the deadline for it was moved - yes, moved - to next week's Wednesday. What. Fudge.

So I guess I have to wish for another good night's sleep. Well, I wish.

I just can't wait for Tuesday. Plan C: Mom and Dad will go to Davao to directly buy me an N79. So I guess I have to wait after all. Keep waiting. What.

Sneaking in my own life.

By this hour I got the chance to sneak in  my own life. I mean, I've been busy all the while and this has been my only chance to get a hold of it. Fudge. I hate this.

Why am I here?

It's kind of weird. I just suddenly felt that I'm not doing any good. I just browsed the list for those who were given the Gawad Chanselor Award. [I'm sorry I'm not able to provide the URL.] Of course, my name isn't there. I wasn't good enough, and Math 17 (a grade of 2.75 worth 5 units) worsened that. This isn't going anywhere already.
So by this afternoon, I will fully dedicate myself to a heart-to-heart bonding with my class notes and notebooks and books, and we'll be having a good time making myself study.
So before I might even think of losing my mind procrastinating, I'd better start going.

Outrageous.

How outrageous had this day been. I feel like I've been deciding things all of a sudden.

And I had my haircut at David's For Rever for 350 pesos. Wow. Indeed. May I say it again? Wow.

But I wish I could have myself pictured.

Fudge. My digital camera's still broken and I've been waiting for ages to have it repaired, with the company of my ever-supportive aunt. But I'm actually waiting for money. And I'm waiting for my phone too. Fudge.

People just make me wait too long. And I don't want to wait for nothing. I've already been into that. And I hate it.

Is there more?

I'm so happy to announce that
I"M NOT YET (AGAIN) IN LOVE.
No, not this time. I am not again focused on my heart. I'm again focused on my materialistic tendencies.
I so can't wait for my N79. Good news came in yesterday afternoon. My father told me that mom already ordered one the other day and it is expected to be shipped there by Friday. I'm expecting to finally have it by Tuesday (if they mail it here by Monday).
Bit by bit I'm getting ecstatic.
But then again, I feel that my sickness is going to visit me again. My nose hurts and I feel oddly warm. well I wish it's not going to be another fever.
I only have twenty pesos at hand here, so I better finish this post quickly so I could pay enough here in the cafe.
I'm ending here. ^^

[Don't] Treat me like a fool.

For the whole week I've been sick and totally depressed and obsessed to chocolates. This March, I'm making another brand new start.
This time, I"M UNDER RENOVATION.
March plan:
-five minutes of CALMING silence daily.
-jogging on weekends.
-exercise DAILY.
-ban on junk foods.
-ban on soda.
-ban on powdered shakes and juices (and anything artificial).
-ban on food placed on styrofoam containers.
-ban on pork fat.
-abstinence (for lent, too).
If I'd be adding more to this plan, I'd be glad to update you (whoever you are, nobody). If March is the country's Fire Prevention Month, it's my Wellness Month.
Well at least I wanted top be fit rather than fat. ^^