Why am I here?

It's kind of weird. I just suddenly felt that I'm not doing any good. I just browsed the list for those who were given the Gawad Chanselor Award. [I'm sorry I'm not able to provide the URL.] Of course, my name isn't there. I wasn't good enough, and Math 17 (a grade of 2.75 worth 5 units) worsened that. This isn't going anywhere already.
So by this afternoon, I will fully dedicate myself to a heart-to-heart bonding with my class notes and notebooks and books, and we'll be having a good time making myself study.
So before I might even think of losing my mind procrastinating, I'd better start going.