They just want to blame.

Everyone just love to blame me for everything. Thanks for that.

I'm too tired, too depressed, and too frustrated, okay? So please don't add up.

This is total stress week. I've been having a well-maintained head-breaking migraine for almost two weeks already. And I totally destroyed my sleeping habits. Whatever happened to my 22.30 curfew every night (not excluding weekends to that)? This is in some way a failure. I know I'm getting there. But still, there's always time to steer away from it.

I just need more time. I mean, extra time - aside from the standard twenty-four hours of a single day. God, can you give me more time, please? :D

Oh. I got a lot of things to do. Perhaps a mountain of things to accomplish. Currently I'm looking up at Italian verbs - and by the way, simultaneously plurking, multiply-ing, facebook-ing, and blogging here. I don't know what's going to happen with my life. I need more energy, more motivation, and yes, more sleep. So to start again the good life, I expect myself to be fast asleep by 23.00 tonight. I wish for that.

Meanwhile, I must motivate myself to finish my reaction paper to the last State of the Nation Address of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. (I was absent at my Political Science 14 class this morning - to where I should have passed that reaction paper - because I had not finished the paper yet and I slept at around three in the morning, more reason to be absent since I might get too sleepy after all.) After that I will start doing my tasks for the organization that I'm applying to - UP Political Society. Oh. And it's already 21.30.

I should better grab my life back and sget going.

Maybe it's what I wanted, not what I needed.

I can't just can't tell things because I certainly don't understand what's actually happening.

I don't get it. It's way too complex and too hideous.

How can they expect me to know something that's underneath something else?

It's getting harder. And weirder. And.. And.. What else?

It's all too hard to believe. It's not another typical story.

It's something else. That's the word.

And day by day I keep on falling in but then again I'm still being a hypocrite.

But that person is what I wanted. Maybe it's not what I needed, but still. Hello.

Can't that person tell what's going on me?

I'm obsessed.

And depressed by that hopeless obsession.

And I'm still dreaming.

Or can't I be at the least saved?

This is getting to be pathetic.

I can't help it.

That person can.

But that person doesn't want to help me. God bless na lang.

Fine. That's just fine.

Indeed, that's a word of sarcasm there.

You just don't want to help me then.

I so know that and you don't have to act like you're somebody else.

You don't have to pretend that you care for me. I know what's real and I know it hurts.

And don't even pretend that you want me. Please. It's making me fall in and I want it but if it's not that real then what is it for?

But at least, can you pretend that you love me?

It's just too good to be true.

Things are odd and at the same thing good, currently.

[Of course, I'm talking again about my life. What else, right?]

It's happening again. And it's better this time.

I don't know why. Maybe that person finally got over me.

And now that person's over me, it means I'm down under.

And I'm not yet over. Not still.

Not still over simply because I keep on falling.

In and out.

Of love.

Or maybe something like that.

But it's wonderful.

It's like sunshine on a very rainy day.

Or a ray of light in an unlit room.

It's like heaven.

It's like warm chocolate on a cold day.

It's happiness.

I'm sure of it.

I'm happy whenever I'm with.

That one.

The one.

And it's just too good to be true.

Only if it is not a dream.

That will somehow someday again will fade away.

Will be shattered.

Like a glass thrown on the floor.

Like a blade stroked hardly on my chest.

Like a piercing emotion.

That kills.

No. No way. Please don't.

I just wanted to be happy. And to live my life that way.