Hold your - no, my - breath.

I just paused from reading an e-book of Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven. For some odd reason, I just feel so sleepy after reading the softbound version of his For One More Day, and then I get an eyestrain with this e-book. I don't know. It's just hard to keep myself busy when there's nothing to be busy at all. Or it's just that it's hard to do something when another something - something else, yes - bothers me.

It's almost a year. It's almost a year since I left the city of General Santos to prepare for my college life here in Quezon City. Before that nostalgic airplane ride to Ninoy Aquino International Airport Centennial Terminal 2 in Pasay City, I wasn't thinking greatly of studying in the University of the Philippines Diliman. I was actually thinking that hooray, I'm finally free and I'm in Metro Manila!

And summer has never been the same as before. My mom and I stayed at her cousin's house in Pasig City. I kind of hated that experience, sleeping on that foam placed on the floor, listening to the loud cries of children, seeing kids being scolded by their moms, occasional arguments with my mother, semi-real financial crisis, and being far away from the rest of my little family, missing my father and older sister.

I can't seem to keep myself moving whenever I feel that everything is just not right and everything just feels not comfortable. As a truly ambitious kid, of course I had high hopes. But it turns out that the longer the stay you are in your time of hoping, the more the hopes had been shattered by disappointing truths. Yes, it's not just another companion thing.

Some people are always right. You better expect what not to expect. There are always things you want to happen but one twist of fate or two, or perhaps another mistake of yours, life becomes a bit more disappointing. Yes. It is disappointing.